Remember me? Well, this is my Story.

Discussion in 'Towny' started by Aeolius_, Apr 21, 2017.

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  1. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    So yeah. It's probably been more than a year since I last talked to anybody on this server. I know that a lot of you do remember me, I just want to say a few things, like how I'm doing and what the hell I've been doing all this time.

    When I left, I was torn, I didn't know what the hell to do. I just trudged through the days turned turned weeks, which turned to a few months... Broken. I didn't know what to do! This server was all I had. I stopped playing Minecraft for a long time. Just watched other people play it. People I didn't know. People I won't ever get to know. It was just the same pattern of me just feeling terrible. Until I wasn't that is, but that isn't the point.

    Today. I'm sitting at my desk, in a fourth-floor apartment, dim lights and a million thoughts consuming my mind all at once. Headphones on my ears, drowning out all the sound around me, besides my thoughts and the music of course.

    I want to tell you the other parts of my story, when I first started playing. (First, let me warn you that this VERY serious, and that everything I say is 100% true.)

    Minecraft was the best thing I could have dreamed of as a Kid... My own world of thoughts and dreams and imagination and so much to explore. If it didn't come crashing down on me in the future.

    The oldest server, SuperEarth. It was where it began. I can only remember the names of the ones I thought of as friends. No. Family. They were like a family to me. I didn't know what thinking like that would do to me, until Now. They were good people, good intentions, but... We couldn't keep our little "Family" together. That server was my undoing. I poured my LIFE into it. I didn't even notice that the world, the REAL world, was crumbling around me. Until it was beyond repair that is. I've been kicking myself for the longest time for not realizing it. Nothing like that had ever happened to me. Until it did. That server went down, the owner, he was a corrupt man. My friends did research on the guy, found his name. Found out he was selling drugs to kids outside of a school, and the server went down. I thought it was freaking bullshit that a MINECRAFT SERVER OWNER WOULD SELL DRUGS TO CHILDREN. To tell the truth, he wasn't exactly old, they told me he was 18, going 19 in 3 months. Fast forward to Cowcraft.

    Probably the best server I've ever been too, reminded me of my happy days, and my unhappy ones, but they were memories I needed to relive. That's what I told myself, and it was true. The name changes... the constant changes, they were reflecting MY changes. How my broken mind would reshape my own image. I didn't realize it, but while I was playing on this server, I was falling into the darkest abyss in my own mind that I could never escape from. The names of the people I met, not players, PEOPLE. REAL PEOPLE just referring to themselves as empty words. While I was having that mental breakdown, week after week. I thought I was going to be like that forever.

    Until I wasn't.

    I don't know what happened. I'm just sitting here, wondering what caused my change. What caused me to just, be ok again? Well, that doesn't matter anymore. Here and now though, there's something else I need to say. The Names of People... Not players, People. Not their real names, but just something I can call them.

    It's about time I let go of Aeolius, and say my real name.

    I am Caiden. That is who I am and will always be. I wear this name with pride, especially now that those I once knew me as MagmaMC_, Arcane, Ashen and Aeolius... Those lies are gone. I am none of those masks.

    I'm thankful that I could get this off my mind and I'm really sorry that this was so serious.
    (If you have a PS4 and want to contact me, my PSN in ArsArcanumPS, and feel free to call me by my real name.)

    Here are just some songs I listened to while I wrote this...
    -Believer by Imagine Dragons (Great song)
    -Me myself and I
    -My demons
    -Centuries
    -Pompeii

    -Your Truly,
    Caiden
     
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  2. Bowzerrr

    Bowzerrr Active Member

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    Emo alert!
     
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  3. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    Please delete your reply, and also your entire existence.
    pls
     
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  4. Kindoe

    Kindoe Well-Known Member

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    Wow man, this is some really deep stuff, never even had a clue this stuff was going on with you. I always thought you were a pretty chill dude, didn't occur to me you've been having some troubling thoughts. Well congratulations on finally coming out on these things, not many people are able to put their business out there like that due to fears. If you ever need some people to talk to, my group of friends will be more than willing to welcome you to our little community. It'd be nice to meet you Caiden.

    - From KJ (or the guy people kept shipping you with)
     
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  5. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    Thanks for that KJ.

    (And for the shipping part, I still need to go yell at Jazmyn for that. It is now officially on my Bucket List.)
     
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  6. labradorblue

    labradorblue Active Member

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    That was deep.
    I remember leaving the server for a month. I missed it too much, so I came back.
     
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  7. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    It's hard not to miss it, that I can admit.
     
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  8. Snickkerzz

    Snickkerzz Active Member

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    what the fuck
     
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  9. Nidavil

    Nidavil Active Member

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    why you gotta bully the kid you cunt I thought it was a well written, touching story.
     
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  10. MyrtleDewDrops

    MyrtleDewDrops Active Member

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    ppl are starving in Africa! you are a privileged kid so please stop complaining about your life. some ppl would die for your small childish problems.
    you have a roof above your head, food on the table and prob a fam that loves you so don't be coming on here and pretending like u have it hard cuz u don't!

    (sorry for being a lil strong... its just annoying when kids like this one come and complain about a life that others would call perfect)

    from the person u all love - Myrtle -
     
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  11. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    ... I've actually helped raise money for people in Uganda so...

    myrtle pls. why you go and trample on the post I poured my heart and soul into to... I'm not even a kid either, I'm going into highschool soon. Please, just delete your comment, and maybe think about what you're about to say before you say it.
     
    #11 Garudyne, Apr 21, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2017
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  12. Kindoe

    Kindoe Well-Known Member

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    People all over the world are starving, not just Africa. Even if 1st world counties have people starving. Not every in these countries are as privileged as you may think.
    Now you do have a point, there are people who are worse off than us, but that doesn't mean people are always happy. He's not complaining, he's just putting out his thoughts. He never asked for our pity, he just wanted to let the community he knows and loves where he's been and how he's been doing.
    You have to remember that the struggles people like him have is more of a mental thing than a physical thing. Poor people don't have their physical needs met, and quite often they are hopeless. They struggle, but that doesn't mean that better off people can to. People want to have a community of people to be in, and as much as a family is there for you, a group of people you can relate to is honestly much better. I love my mother, but I can't talk to her about things I like because she just doesn't get what I do as much as my friends would. Being away from friends, friends you could even call family, is rough, not poverty rough, but still.
    People want stability, its a great thing to have. The people that already have it want to hold on to it for their dear life, and it's even worse when those who have it lose it. I could understand if he was saying "uhh I hate my life, i wanna die!" but he isn't. You're honestly making the situation worse but disliking every post that is being supportive of him. I'm not saying suck up to him, just understand where he's coming from.
    If you really want to know, sometimes people less fourtunate have easier lives, and that's coming from someone who used to be a part of that group. They have closer relationships, more people to talk to, someone to comfort them. Not everyone has a parent, but you can find someone to fill that hole. Simple lives, less stress inducing expectations, the knowledge that nothing could get worse than unlikely death, it's not as bad as I once thought now that I look back on it. The only thing I didn't have is my friends, and now that I have that, I want to keep them. I'd be sad if the only way of communication with them was destroyed.
    I'm not trying to hate on you, but you're being unsympathetic. I get annoyed with complaining people too, but Caiden wasn't doing that. You honestly never had to read this post if you didn't care.

    Also put that little remark at the end on your signature or something, it doesn't add anything to your statement.
     
    #12 Kindoe, Apr 21, 2017
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2017
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  13. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    Thanks, Kindoe. I'm glad you understand what has happened to me. I'm glad I met you here on Cowcraft. You're a good friend.
     
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  14. AlexAcott

    AlexAcott New Member

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    This is just White Privelage gone wrong.
    I agree with Myrtle Gawsh kidz these days.
    People in Less Economicly Developed Countries are starving and your listening to music with your emo phases. Well enough is enough! I demand we declare war on all Attention Seeking Emos in the 1st world and Eradicate them!
    (Ps rip Aredale, and you where abit of a dick anyway)
    Love AlexYourBoo

    x
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    xxxxxxxx
     
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  15. KaiChlops

    KaiChlops Active Member

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    Pompeii is a fantastic song by the best band ever
     
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  16. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    Alex, Myrtle. If you only have mean things to say to me, get off this thread, you aren't welcome here.
     
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  17. AlexAcott

    AlexAcott New Member

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    I speak the truth! White Privelage has failed you my friend!
     
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  18. MyrtleDewDrops

    MyrtleDewDrops Active Member

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    this is a place for an open convo.

    idiot.
     
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  19. Garudyne

    Garudyne Member

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    Imma just report you guys if you don't mind... Idc if you mind I'm reporting you anyway.
     
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  20. MyrtleDewDrops

    MyrtleDewDrops Active Member

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    nothing to report man. all we did was have a convo regarding your dumb thread.
     
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